She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
