I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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