WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Ketchup is God's man juice
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Randomize
