I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
