are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
