I heard we made out
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize