I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
