oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
