spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
