We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
