if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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