Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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