You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
wow bdsm is so cute
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
