I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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