Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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