My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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