My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Let's get the cat blown out
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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