At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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