I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
