I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize