Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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