To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
