the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
