My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
