would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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