I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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