I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
