Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
