You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
