he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
