We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
