apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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