I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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