direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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