The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
