Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
