I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
