You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize