Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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