Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
a search helicopter?!
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
