Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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