What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
