I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
