Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Where did you get a picture of my penis
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Randomize
