My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
