it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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