Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
