he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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