so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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