Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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