Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Randomize