So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Two words: blizzard sex
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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