watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
