She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Michael Bay diarrhea
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Still dying that you shit outside
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Randomize
