How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
You can't just leave with hair like that
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
