where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i already hear my dad disowning me
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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