Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Randomize
