I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
They have beer where we have blood.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
