I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
